‘My artwork is often influenced by my romantic encounters’
A Lover Girl is someone who falls in love easily, described by Urban Dictionary as a woman who loves ‘wholeheartedly’ and ‘without hesitation’. A Lover Girl is passionate, affectionate and romantic, seeing the world through rose tinted glasses.
I have always been a lover girl, but I try to convince myself that I’m not. In a society where hook up culture is the norm, I’ve often found myself feeling ‘too intense’ or ‘too much’ when wanting more from my relationships. Dating apps like Tinder and Hinge provide an abundance of choice and, therefore, disposability and replaceability. Perhaps it’s the type of people I go for, or the area I’m in; but committed, monogamous relationships can feel quite out of reach. I spend nights tangled in the arms of strangers, telling myself that I’ve finally cracked the art of casual encounters. But generally if I like you enough to sleep with you, I like you enough to want to stay.
A few years ago I found myself overwhelmed with dating fatigue. For months I was dating back to back, in endless talking stages and 'situationships'; craving intimacy, connection and validation. Validation in particular felt incredibly addictive and problematic. When I realised how much I sourced validation externally instead of internally, I took a break from men and dated myself instead. I went to therapy, took myself to exhibitions, bought myself flowers and ate lunch in cafes alone. I rediscovered art, filling my time playfully with mixed media, painting and ceramics. I said yes to every social event and realised the true value and fullness that comes from platonic love.
I did the work and feel far better for it. Rejection no longer feels catastrophic, dating in general doesn’t feel as pressured and I no longer fear being alone. I don’t feel the need to date purely for validation anymore. I still flirt with the idea of casual sex and relationships. I’m in the process of working out my boundaries and discovering what works best for me. I had been hoping that my year out of dating would help me learn to detach a bit more and perhaps in some ways it has. But detachment as a goal feels rather sad and empty. So I’m trying to accept that I’m a lover girl too.
Last December I went to Lille with my friend Lu. On our last day we visited The Palais Des Beaux-Arts and I bought a postcard of a painting I liked, gifting it to a man I was speaking to at the time. We had matched on a dating app on my way to France and it instantly felt fresh, easy and exciting. A far cry from my prior encounters which were all starting to merge into one.We kept chatting throughout the entirety of the trip and he ended up feeling like a big part of it, despite not physically being there with me.
What followed was a whirlwind winter romance. By the time I got back from France he had just over a week left in the UK. It added an intensity to an experience that was already heightened by an ease and level of chemistry I hadn’t felt before. Unaware if our paths will cross again or our timings will ever match up, our goodbyes felt significantly more final. The miles between us were something I was aware of from the very beginning, but I wanted to pursue the connection regardless of the geography.
Shortly after, I escaped to Bath with my friends. He stayed in my mind as I flitted between feelings of gratitude for our time together and sadness that it had come to its inevitable end. I found it frustrating to experience something that felt so good, only to have it taken away.
On New Year’s Eve we had a house party. It wasn’t long after midnight when his messages came through, despite promising not to text much and definitely not when drunk. We allowed ourselves to indulge in each other for a moment, declaring sweet nothings before wrapping up our serendipitous encounter in a pretty little bow.
A few too many cocktails brings out my inner 'lovergirl' as her most honest and romantic self. Completely unashamed and unfiltered when declaring, ‘I wish I could keep you’. I felt compelled to create this piece after our encounter, layering my drunken text message over the painting from the postcard that I had gifted him. I have always found the creation of art to be therapeutic. Regardless of outcome, it’s the process itself that feels most soothing and healing. I can’t escape my true feelings in art and therefore it’s one of the ways that I feel most authentic. By expressing myself on paper or canvas I can make sense of my thoughts and process my emotions whilst sealing my memories in a physical keepsake.
My artwork is often influenced by my romantic encounters. Last summer I created a collage from a year’s worth of my text and tinder messages, the words ‘Validate me’ painted over the top in gold acrylic and finished with gold leaf. Nodding to the closure of chaos and welcoming a new self awareness on what validation truly means to me.
I’m often inspired by my own experiences in this way and I find it’s reflected in the work of other artists that I gravitate towards. Through art such as this I find comfort in relatability and humour in heartbreak; which is something I aspire to evoke in others with my own pieces.
Lover Girl features gold and glitter text reading I wish I could keep you over The Kiss (1868) By Carolus-Duran. Capturing longing, desire and melancholy symbolised in its most honest form; the drunken New Years text message.
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